To Love or To BE Loved?
Which do you think is more important: to love or to be loved? I have pondered this question most of my life. In all honesty, you have little control over how others love you, so save your energy trying to conform them to your image. The one you do have control over is you. That's lesson one in how to love others - take responsibility for your own life. Love "fails" because of unrealistic expectations. Look at our divorce rate! How many of those of us who are divorced entered the marriage with totally unrealistic expectations?
A well known saying is, Men marry women hoping they will never change. Women marry men hoping to change them. Sad, but true. The same is true of other relationships. We always seem to see the other person's potential, but we are not The Creator!
1Corinthians 13:4-8a tells us what love is and is not.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
And in Luke 10:27: Jesus confirmed a Pharisee's rendition of what the law said:
He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Love is much deeper, richer, and more substantial than sex and unrealistic expectations. Love is loyal. Love is respectful. Love is tenacious. When you love in a healthy way, you actually release a person to walk away. To grasp, or possess doesn't create love, it creates prisoners.
Sometimes love is confrontational, at other times it isn't. Sometimes love is silly and other times it's serious. Love is challenging. To love, really love another soul, you must take a deep breath, take a huge risk, and handle that soul with care, compassion, and dignity.
Think about the people you love, the people who are important participants in your life. Now think about the biggest conflict you ever had with that person - the battle that made you consider hatred, instead. And yet, these people are still in your life because you love them: they have value to you (not in the exploitive sense, but in the treasure sense).
How you handled people in the past cannot be changed. No one has a relationship that isn't full of regrets. No one does this thing perfectly, but the question becomes, how can I love better, today? How can I love in a way that pleases God?
In our relationship with God, it is definitely important to love Him to such an extent that you value how He sees you over how any human sees you. The Bible clearly says in I John 4:19-20 why and how we love God:
We love because he first loved us.
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar.
For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.
So I have concluded that it is much more important to love than to be loved. Once we lose the ability to love, we are dead inside. So express love today!
(c) 2008 April Lorier | Related Posts
APRIL LORIER - So. California. An award-winning poet, inspirational author and speaker. A survivor of both child abuse and adult domestic abuse, April inspires women to be all that God designed them to be! She first gained recognition as a children's rights crusader while successfully fighting for the passage of the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), which was signed into law by Ronald Reagan.
