Do You Know Who YOU Are?

My friend just returned from her high school reunion and she had to tell me all about it. She was so impressed with the need for people to live in the past. She said they wore name tags with not just their names, but also descriptive phrases. Some were class president, conservative, valedictorian, anarchist, Prom Queen or King, most likely to succeed... well, you get the point.

Most all of the people she no longer recognized were altered by either surgery, botox, or hair pieces. It was a very confusing and disappointing experience for her, especially when she started hearing about personal tragedies, multiple divorces, lost children, failed businesses, and abuse. But the main point is that all were identifying themselves by who they were 40 years ago!

In abuse recovery, it is all too easy to define yourself by what you were - by what happened to you (especially if, like me, you have authored a book on child abuse.) What a shame if that inner definition is the only one by which you know yourself! Abuse is your experience, not who you are!

It has shaped you, scarred you, and altered much of your life, but there is a definition of you that is beyond abuse. That personal definition changes as you grow. As you decide that you really are more than what happened to you.

At the same time, you must be the one who drives what you ultimately become. It's challenging to unravel all of the fibers that compose who you are, but you are more than the metaphors of class president, or doper, valedictorian, or drop out.

You are more than your abuse. But you are also more than the dysfunctional ways with which you coped with your damage!

When you are alone - when there is no one to impress or blame - who are you? What is your personal definition? The one that really matters. To Christ, the one that really mattered was love - all encompassing, kind, gentle, compassionate love. The Word tells us And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love..

As I've said before, people feel and define love differently. For me, it has always felt like total acceptance. When my light bulb moment came and I realized God did, indeed, love me, it felt like acceptance - something I had felt precious few times in my life. It felt wonderful!

Today I am working on loving (accepting) myself in a healthy, biblical way: feeling comfortable in my skin. That does not come with money or achievements, but with the increasing realization of how much God values me. I'm His girl! He is proud of me! He values every feeling I have and validates me. That's all based on The Whispers from God's Spirit I receive in the quiet hours we spend alone.

I am not my parents' "abused" child anymore. I'm God's Girl! Do you know who you are?

(c) 2008 April Lorier

APRIL LORIER - So. California. An award-winning poet, inspirational author and speaker. A survivor of both child abuse and adult domestic abuse, April inspires women to be all that God designed them to be! She first gained recognition as a children's rights crusader while successfully fighting for the passage of the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), which was signed into law by Ronald Reagan.

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Are You Afraid of Getting Older?

Are you afraid of aging? Many are and billions of dollars are spent on methods of wiping away the years and weight loss. One such commercial gave me a "light bulb moment" recently. I don't even remember what the product was, but a man had lost significant weight and he said, "Now that I have lost the weight, I am a better person." Wow! That hit my consciousness really hard! So how much you weigh determines if you're a good person or not?

For years we have seen our obsession with the physical grow exponentially. Physical fitness - daily workouts, vitamins, organic food - and all the while our bodies keep ticking away in inevitable decline. Each decade brings a new mindset: invincible accompanies us until we turn 30. And then our eyesight diminishes, then the Snap, Crackle,Pop of our knees, and eventually, our minds go. But this applies to the physical, not the spiritual.

It is possible to get better with age! Paul said, "Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16) I think it goes without belaboring that this is dependent upon our willingness to actively put on the mind of Christ consistently.

Man - and woman - are triune beings - a reflection of The Triune God. We are made in His image in this way. The physical is the least important, so it is at the bottom. Next comes the soul (emotions, will, and mind). At the top is our spiritual. And yet it seems most of the time people are trying to improve the body and the mind!

According to Marketdata Enterprises, the annual revenue for the diet industry was over $30 billion dollars way back in 1990. (It's much higher in 2008, yet our obesity rate keeps rising each year.) And that's just on weight loss! Who knows how much is spent on either products or procedures to look more youthful?

Aging physically and mentally does bring trouble. But when we are stripped of everything that props us up - wealth, independence, health, dignity, beauty, or all of the above - we are left with more and more of God. It does not matter old we get, it is never too late to dig deep into God's Word and invest more time in our spiritual well-being. The question we must all answer is do we want our payoffs now or later?

I, for one, want to get more spiritually fit. Then I can say, with confidence, "I am a better person."

I will not be afraid of getting older physically! How about you?

(c)2008 April Lorier

APRIL LORIER - So. California. An award-winning poet, inspirational author and speaker. A survivor of both child abuse and adult domestic abuse, April inspires women to be all that God designed them to be! She first gained recognition as a children's rights crusader while successfully fighting for the passage of the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), which was signed into law by Ronald Reagan.

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To Love or To BE Loved?

Which do you think is more important: to love or to be loved? I have pondered this question most of my life. In all honesty, you have little control over how others love you, so save your energy trying to conform them to your image. The one you do have control over is you. That's lesson one in how to love others - take responsibility for your own life. Love "fails" because of unrealistic expectations. Look at our divorce rate! How many of those of us who are divorced entered the marriage with totally unrealistic expectations?

A well known saying is, Men marry women hoping they will never change. Women marry men hoping to change them. Sad, but true. The same is true of other relationships. We always seem to see the other person's potential, but we are not The Creator!

1Corinthians 13:4-8a tells us what love is and is not.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

And in Luke 10:27: Jesus confirmed a Pharisee's rendition of what the law said:

He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Love is much deeper, richer, and more substantial than sex and unrealistic expectations. Love is loyal. Love is respectful. Love is tenacious. When you love in a healthy way, you actually release a person to walk away. To grasp, or possess doesn't create love, it creates prisoners.

Sometimes love is confrontational, at other times it isn't. Sometimes love is silly and other times it's serious. Love is challenging. To love, really love another soul, you must take a deep breath, take a huge risk, and handle that soul with care, compassion, and dignity.

Think about the people you love, the people who are important participants in your life. Now think about the biggest conflict you ever had with that person - the battle that made you consider hatred, instead. And yet, these people are still in your life because you love them: they have value to you (not in the exploitive sense, but in the treasure sense).

How you handled people in the past cannot be changed. No one has a relationship that isn't full of regrets. No one does this thing perfectly, but the question becomes, how can I love better, today? How can I love in a way that pleases God?

In our relationship with God, it is definitely important to love Him to such an extent that you value how He sees you over how any human sees you. The Bible clearly says in I John 4:19-20 why and how we love God:

We love because he first loved us.
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar.
For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

So I have concluded that it is much more important to love than to be loved. Once we lose the ability to love, we are dead inside. So express love today!

(c) 2008 April Lorier | Related Posts

APRIL LORIER - So. California. An award-winning poet, inspirational author and speaker. A survivor of both child abuse and adult domestic abuse, April inspires women to be all that God designed them to be! She first gained recognition as a children's rights crusader while successfully fighting for the passage of the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), which was signed into law by Ronald Reagan.

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AL Mayor Denies Permit for Gay Pride Parade

The mayor of Birmingham, Alabama, has refused to sign a proclamation for an annual gay pride celebration in the city.

Mayor Larry Langford has also denied the group a parade permit, The Birmingham News reports.

Langford says he turned down the requests, because it's inappropriate for government to endorse a lifestyle.

"I don't think I'm intolerant, I just don't condone the lifestyle," Langford told The Birmingham News. "Your personal lifestyle should be nobody's issue but yours. It's not a civil rights issue; it's a personal issue."

This is the same Larry Langford that called Birmingham to repent with sack cloth and ashes over their murder rate in April. Langford called on Birmingham residents to turn to God and to seek peace when the city's murder rate soared.

More than a thousand people turned out for the mayor's family summit where every one received a free Bible.

The big attraction Friday night at the Birmingham, Ala., Boutwell Auditorium was not the usual fair for a venue known for hosting concerts and special events.

It was a prayer rally for the city, called for by Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford and organized with the help of area pastors and other city leaders.

The Magic City had already had 27 murders in 2008 (in April), compared to 19 in April of last year. Mayor Larry Langford wanted to see his city turn to God for help.

At a recent city council meeting, Langford introduced the idea of praying in "sack cloth and ashes."

"When cities in the early part of this nation's history and the world's history... when they had gotten so far from God, begun idol worship and all kinds of crazy stuff that we are even doing today... that community came to its senses," Langford said.

"The Bible tells us that they put on sack cloth and ashes on their face and they prayed and God heard their prayer," he added.

He purchased 2,000 sack-cloths without using city funds and will hand them out at the event.

Several area ministers, as well as some nationally known ones, joined together to lead the prayer rally. Two members of the Georgia legislature attended, in a show of support for the mayor's call to prayer.

Langford is working what he calls "Plan 10/30," which is based on the fact that most of the city's crimes are committed by African-Americans ages 10 to 30 against that same age group.

He has also held a series of summits as part of the project - the first one for men, another for women, and the last with families. After reporting to city leaders on the summit, Langford said there was only one thing left to do.

"To get this community back on the right track, we need to understand the power of prayer."

I say, "Hats off to you, Mayor Langford!"

(2008 April Lorier | Related Posts
(Source Birmingham News)

APRIL LORIER - So. California. An award-winning poet, inspirational author and speaker. A survivor of both child abuse and adult domestic abuse, April inspires women to be all that God designed them to be! She first gained recognition as a children's rights crusader while successfully fighting for the passage of the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), which was signed into law by Ronald Reagan.

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