Pastor's Wife Unable to 'Be Real'

I come from a pastor's family, so I know the unreasonable expectations that can be placed on the wife of the pastor. She can never please everyone, and she has feelings like everyone else. But rarely can she 'be real'.

As much as a pastor needs time to recharge and rest from the constant job of shepherding his flock, a pastor's wife needs as much rest, and perhaps even more, for all that she is confronted with and the expectations of participation and leadership.

Said one pastor's wife: "I became so busy doing the work of the ministry, that I wasn't allowing God to minister to me. I became very distant from God but nobody knew it. I walked the walk and talked the talk. I had my happy pastor's wife face on and inside I was dying."

A new, much-needed time of ministry—devoted just to wives of pastors—has recently been formed known as A'nesis Retreats. The Greek word A'nesis (pronounced an-NEE-sis) means "comfort for the afflicted, relaxation brought about by a source other than oneself, a liberating rest."

Trudy M. Johnson, MA, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the State of Colorado. Starting her sixth year at a Christian counseling agency, Ms. Johnson is involved in both marriage and individual therapy to pastors and their wives.

Johnson began her new ministry for pastor's wives in June, and offers both retreat settings and also individual brief intensive counseling Sabbatical opportunities for pastors' wives and women ministry leaders.

According to a recent news release, Trudy Johnson has collected her own data from testing while working with wives of pastors in the intensive counseling through her private practice. These tests reveal a combined average score of 89% on the depressive scale and 85% on the levels of hostility. Basically, many pastors' wives voice a lot of frustration over their inability to "be real."

With over 45% admitting they have no close friends, it shouldn't be surprising that wives of pastors deal with a lot of anger, probably most of which is internalized, which accounts for their very high levels of depression.

A'nesis Retreats™ for three women at a time are offered every third week of the month throughout the year. Individual counseling Sabbaticals are offered on a case-by-case basis for one or two weeks at a time.

To find out more, log onto: www.anesisretreats.com or access the link provided.

Notes: AnesisRetreats

2011 April Lorier Perspective